I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
try to milk me bitch
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
