i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
false alarm. still invincible.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
