It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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