Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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