He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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