You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
