physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
We got so high we made milksteak
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
