none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Michael Bay diarrhea
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
