OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
