I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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