I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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