I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
