I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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