I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Randomize
