its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
