wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
