Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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