i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
