The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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