Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
