Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
