don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
