I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Randomize
