I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
