My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
