I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
