Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I just googled if crying burns calories
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
