apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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