Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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