I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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