i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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