I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
