I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
