Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
