Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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