Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
