went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
