hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
