In the future we'll all be gay
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
