i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
the liver wants what the liver wants
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
