You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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