i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
