There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
