Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
