so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
