Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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