What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
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