So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
