your thong is hanging out like whoa
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
