Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
