Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
